The Opening Path Parenting Blog

Teaching Skills in Parenting that foster a warm healthy attachment

and create confident, effective adults

            “Oh…What’ll I do with the babeo….what’ll I do with the baby-0 what’ll I do with the baby-o when she won’t go to sleep-y-o.”
                                                              -----   An old Appalachian folk song

As I begin this blog, I remember how I felt when I became a parent for the first time.  I had a recurring nightmare during my months that preceded my first daughter’s birth….

In my dream, I am walking around on stage. I am comfortable in my jeans and old shirt.  I  look at the scenery and the props, and realize the stage looks just about ready to come together.  I hear the sound of people talking, and reach in my back pocket for the folded script.  It’s not there.  I am a little anxious, and wonder if I left it at home.  Then I think, “I’ll borrow someone else’s copy”.   Then I see that the other actors are in costume;  I must have missed that practice. Suddenly, it goes dark and quiet.  I ask about a script, but the actor looks sharply at me and touches his lips.  “Quiet”. I look out as the curtain lifts.  An audience sits there, looking expectantly at me.  I am center stage.  In my growing panic,  I realize they are expecting me to start.  “I never got the script,” I frantically whisper as the audience stares. My head buzzes with anxiety---what am I going to do...?  what am I supposed to say….

With twenty-some years distance, I can still feel a little of the panic of the dreamed the replayed during the last trimester of my first pregnancy.


Some of us enter parenthood without a script. Other start with some confidence, but the realities of parents challenge us more than we planned. The truth is that babies come without a manual. Not only that, they are, from their first moment, enormously dependent on us, even needing us to hold up their heads. As parents, we assume an awesome responsibility.


I responded to those nightmares by researching, hoping to become the best parent I could be. Not so surprisingly, the research wasn't exactly consistent. My first teachers were Dr. Spock (given to me by my mother) and Penelope Leach.

Unfortunately,m they couldn't have been more different. While Dr. Spock was teaching me to let my baby cry herself to sleep, Penelope Leach gave me permission to let my baby sleep with me, and  telling me to be totally available to her.

This was the confusing beginning of my journey as a parent. I wanted hard science that would tell me what worked. It didn't happen overnight; finding the answers to my questions has taken over 24 years. This blog shares the results of my journey, covering my studies as a therapist, continuing independent research, along with my experiences as a mother and co-parent.

Penelope Leach was the first researcher I really trusted. She gave me a strong vision of a loving parent. My other influences included Mr. Rogers, who taught me to play; Margaret Mahler; Thomas and Chess's work with temperment; and Stanley Greenspan and T. Brezleton's incredibly research.  

After many years, I have finally got a script.  Of sorts.  Because the truth is, parenting is a blend of good knowledge, attitudes, and improvisation.